I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
vagina is talking i cant
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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