I love having hate sex.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My vagina just recognized that song.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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