In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
