some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
