I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
