i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
