My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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