i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
