Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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