Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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