we're blogging at a bar
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
