I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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