My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
