you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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