Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
