I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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