you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
