She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
