She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
