it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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