something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
