you win again, gameday.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
