He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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