Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
