My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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