i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
