You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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