Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
