Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
