I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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