no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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