2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you had me at cake vodka
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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