More tranny stories later!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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