Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
