we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize