He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
