I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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