He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
