Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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