i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
