come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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