called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
