If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
