I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
