My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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