I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
