walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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