I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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