How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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