i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
